


shadowed cracks

by Molnija



Series: last night's dreamers [3]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Friendship, Gen, M/M, ao3's not giving me recommended ones rIP, i swear the other ones are going to be more interesting, i'm so sorry oikawa, idk if these tags are correct, like. really strong friendship aspect., lots and lots of asshole politics people, mourning except there's no time to mourn so it's all over the place, referenced character death, this is like ~10k words of exposition
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-29
Updated: 2017-11-29
Packaged: 2019-02-08 10:05:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,822
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12862236
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Molnija/pseuds/Molnija
Summary: It was not the same question Tooru had asked himself over and over again, that question that had no answer.sequel todistant rondo





	shadowed cracks

**Author's Note:**

> this probably doesn't warrant an M rating but I want to stay consistent ... and who knows how it's going to turn out. I've marked this as a oneshot right now but I'm probably gonna put the sequel to this as ch2 (I originally wanted to make this one ch2 of distant rondo but it didn't feel right lol), so there's still things to come. and I swear the sequel will be something other than exposition and pain ... okay it'll probably still be pain but. you know.
> 
> in another AU, this would probably be much more focused on Keiji actually being dead and how Tooru deals with it but in this one he does not have the luxury of time. which is probably even worse, considering the only reason it's not eating him up alive is that his responsibilities are in the way. I guess that's tragic in its own right ... why am I having so much fun breaking Oikawa's heart he deserves better than this ... at least he has Iwa, because IWAOI FRIENDSHIP KILLS THIS ALPACA
> 
> the next one in this verse is probably not gonna be the sequel to this, there's something I started a while ago from Kyouken's POV and a Semi-focused one ... yes Semi is in this
> 
> speaking of Semi, I have character designs and stuff for this AU over on my art blog! [here's the tag, yo.](http://fiat-lux-calamitatis.tumblr.com/tagged/last%20night's%20dreamers) a lot of them haven't appeared in the story yet, so there's things to look forward to maybe. hehe.

“Why?”

It was not the same question Tooru had asked himself over and over again, that question that had no answer. No, this one, directed at his closest advisors, was one they needed to address and figure out in its entirety.

Not the broken pleas to make sense of Keiji being gone – not the waves of regret drowning him at every waking moment and even in his dreams – not the screams at the gods wondering how they could have been so cruel – but the strategical necessity.

Why had whoever had attacked that day targeted the forest?

“Hinata was there,” Hajime said, eyes dark and grim. “They wanted them.”

“There are better methods to kidnap someone than to kill everything around them,” Tooru argued and pointed at the huge, detailed map of the Date area that was spread out on the table square in the middle of the meeting room. It had not yet been updated to cover for almost half of the enormous forest being gone. “If they knew of the village, they knew of its location. Its only point of defense was the very fact that it was so well hidden.”

“Maybe they didn’t know.” Kunimi, the youngest among their ranks – a talented wizard who had climbed the ranks without even trying – looked at him with his usual apathetic expression. “They knew they were there but not where, so they tried to lure them out.”

Tooru shook his head. “Improbable. I know Shouyou. They survived the fire for certain, but they likely didn’t get far. Even if they had, such a grave danger would have done nothing but raise the risk of their magic exploding and hurting the attackers. And,” he added when he saw Takahiro raise his hand from his peripheral vision, “there is no way the fire hadn’t been laid specifically for the forest. If they’d wanted to attack Date after all they would have, and Date is largely unharmed. If it had simply been a fire that went out of control, they wouldn’t have made a point out of spreading their defences first. All the evidence points to a planned strike and I have no reason to believe otherwise, especially now that Shouyou truly is gone.”

Takahiro’s hand had lowered, but a scowl was painted on his face still. “And how’re ya gonna break that to the council? Knowing of an unsupervised starchild and not informing the authorities involved is, what’s the word again? Oh yeah. Treason.”

The word weighed as heavily on him as the necklace he had given Keiji in his pocket. Treason. He was fully aware that if he wanted to get out of this without being kicked off his throne and locked up, he was going to need to twist the truth. The thought alone was making him feel sick. Regardless, he said, “I know. I’ll manage. And that isn’t important right now either way.” If nothing else, he knew he could trust these three people – four, when Issei returned – to the utmost.

Hajime cleared his throat and continued the original conversation. “A show of power? Although we still have no hints toward their identity. We know it wasn’t Shiratorizawa, but that’s pretty much it.”

“That’s another question,” Tooru mused, stroking his chin. “If we knew who they are, finding out their motive would be a much easier task. By all accounts it doesn’t make sense. It’s such a needlessly complicated way of doing ... Anything really.”

“Maybe it was a distraction,” Kunimi suggested and Hajime nodded along.

“That just happened to coincide with another plan of theirs. It would explain the dramatic way of kidnapping Hinata.”

“A distraction,” he repeated. Yes, that sounded logical – except for the part where absolutely nothing else had been going on at the time. The only two ways he could possibly spin this were that either they were using the attack as a distraction from kidnapping Shouyou … Or their goal had been to send them into this very disarray.

“Or maybe they were just really incompetent and had no clue how else they could go about it,” Takahiro said and shrugged when everyone turned to stare at him. “I mean, it happens, right? Everyone would love a starchild, even the ones who suck at kidnapping people. Maybe we’re overthinking it and it really is that straightforward. Not everything is a carefully laid out plan, y’know?”

He had considered that before and it made more sense than most other ideas they had gathered for far, but he absolutely hated it. It would have made Keiji’s death so pointless. Empty. He and many others would have died for no particular reason.

The burning hole in his heart he could almost physically feel was making it hard to breathe.

“Again, if we don’t know the attackers’ identity, we can’t reasonably say that.” He refused to believe it. He refused to believe Keiji had died in vain.

“You were the one who asked for the Why,” Takahiro argued, and all of a sudden his usual calm and upbeat demeanour faded into something uncannily serious. “Look, I know you lost someone very important to you. Do you really think you should be the one handling this? Akira and I can—”

“It has to be me,” he interrupted him sternly, voice not wavering no matter how much he wanted to break down. A lifetime of court etiquette had taught him how to be cold. “I’m the only one who has all the information and the one ruling everyone that got hurt. It’s my responsibility. I have to take it.”

There was another aspect to it as well, one he did not dare voice.

He had never been the type to mourn by sitting on the sidelines and crying. When his parents had fallen ill and died, he had studied magic and medicine to be able to help in another case of such tragedy. When his sister had disappeared, he had taken her throne. Whenever soldiers had fallen in times of war, he had made it his duty to clear up their story and honour them by making their achievements known. He was the Warrior King – he would always act rather than stay silent.

This was no different. In order to deal with Keiji’s death, he would have to solve what caused it.

And maybe, just maybe, by some divine miracle, he was still alive out there. They had never found his body after all. And if he was, then Tooru would find him.

They finished the meeting with as little information as they had when they had started.

He was on his way to the library to read up on the area around Date when he felt a hand close around his wrist. Hajime was looking at him with furrowed eyebrows and lips set in a stubborn line.

“I know I can’t stop you from overthinking this, but if you dare go crazy running headfirst into a wall you can’t climb, I’ll kick your ass. It’s only been a week. Don’t overestimate yourself.”

He had been prepared to hear something like this, but he answered earnestly. “I trust you to do just that. You’ve always been my impulse control.”

Hajime stared at him for a long moment, gaze darting over Tooru’s face to figure out what he was thinking. Eventually, he said, without a trace of mocking in his voice, “You’re strong.”

Ha. Strong. Strong would have protected Shouyou. Strong would have never sent Keiji to his demise. Strong would own up to his lies at the council.

“I have to be,” he said with a bitter smile before heading off to the library for good.

 

* * *

 

The nights were the hardest part.

He had thought missing Keiji when he was somewhere else had been difficult, but nothing could have prepared him for the soul-crushing loneliness of lying awake knowing he would likely never see him again.

The last time they had slept together, the night of the ball, had not felt like a goodbye.

_We don’t have much time, so don’t spend it looking so sad._

A soft murmur of a voice etched into his mind.

“I’m sorry, Keiji,” he whispered before he was interrupted by a heavy sob that shook his entire body, and he turned to his side to face away from the other half of the mattress so he could imagine he was still there, sound asleep next to him. “I really can’t help it right now.”

He had been crying when they had met, too.

The wound in his heart of his beloved sister disappearing, most likely forever, had still been fresh when they had left to meet with the noctua in their remote capital. He remembered seeing a certain stoic guard never leaving the heir’s side who had intrigued him from the start, but it had only been when Tooru had broken down upon seeing Shiida’s signature in the memorial room that they had first talked. Akaashi Keiji had not known Shiida, but he had known loss and mourning amongst his own family, and he had spoken to Tooru in a manner that had in no way been condescending. He had always found comfort in facts and truth, and before long he had grown attached to his new friend, an attachment that would soon bloom into something much greater, until they had been dancing on a ball in Aoba not unlike the last time they had met, and shared their first kiss in candlelight reflecting in the water of the fountain in one of the castle gardens.

Despite all the magic in the world, Tooru did not believe in soulmates. But if he had, he would have considered Keiji his.

Or maybe now he did. Why else would it feel like a piece of his very being had been ripped out and burned, ashes fluttering away in the wind?

He pulled the blanket over his head and buried his face in his pillow. If he did not see anything, perhaps he could fool himself into thinking it was not real. Perhaps he would wake up next morning and it would all turn out to be a terrible dream.

And Keiji would be there, and Shiida, and his parents, and all of the noctua because the raid had never happened, and things would be alright.

He dreamed of ink-black wings and bright teal eyes on black and a raging fire consuming it all until all that way left was a single pendant glistening in the dark, and woke up screaming and panting with the crescent moon still high up among the stars.

That night he sought out Hajime’s room, and just like when they had still been children, his friend held him until he stilled in his arms, this time blessed with dreamless slumber.

 

* * *

 

He had a plan.

Granted, it was not the best plan he had ever come up with, but a plan nonetheless. Most importantly it required the least amount of lying necessary, and while Tooru would have considered himself quite an adept liar, when it came to matters of his kingdom, he much preferred being honest, just like his sister had been.

“There have been reports of a starchild being sighted during the fire,” he stated clearly to his council, who were watching him with judgemental eyes as always. “The rumours have yet to be proven, but if they are true, whoever set the fire was most likely targeting that starchild in order to kidnap them.”

Whatever happened, they must not find out that he had known of Shouyou long before they had even gone into hiding.

“There are better ways to do that than burn down a forest,” one of the many old men, a witch called Haruyama, echoed Tooru’s words from yesterday. He heard Hajime quietly snort behind him at the parallel.

“All of this is pointless if we cannot tell who attacked in the first place,” another by the name of Kousaka said. “What is important is not the reason, but their identity. We must not let them become an even greater threat to the kingdom.”

“I think we all agree on that.” He only hoped this harmony was not as fragile as it felt. They hardly ever got along. “I have sent recon squads to track them down, but so far we had no luck. Their identity is a mystery to us still.”

“Shiratorizawa,” someone near him suggested, as he had expected.

“No. Shiratorizawa had nothing to gain from this. They have expressed time and time again that they do not care for starchildren – or destroying the environment, for that matter …”

“The evidence points against them too,” Hajime added. “What little we did find was not any of their material. We couldn’t pinpoint it yet, but the alchemists are working on it.”

The man who had suggested it laughed humourlessly. “That means nothing. They could have been allies. Who else but Shiratorizawa would want us any harm?”

“Someone with a grudge.” The only woman in the council, a middle-aged knight named Itsukata, tapped her fingers on the wooden round table they were sitting on, looking contemplative. “Noctua.”

No. That made no sense at all. “The noctua have been eradicated, as I’m sure you are aware. Even if some survived, there’s no way there are enough to do something this big.” He tried not sounding too agitated, but the more he thought about it, the more plausible it sounded. Keiji had survived the raid. He was sure there were others. If those others had come together, gathering allies along the way, it all would be explained. They would want Shouyou for their powers. They would want confusion caused to distract from their plan. They would want Date in disarray to manipulate their strongest line of defence.

But that still did not explain why they would endanger the forest. The more of it there was, the better for them; it gave them a place to hide, high up in the crowns of the trees, and their natural instincts would help them navigate the woods much better than Aoba’s soldiers ever could.

He dared not breathe the sigh of relief he wanted to. Instead, he loosened up and added, “No. This would not benefit them at all. They would not harm the forest. Even if it was meant to confuse us, they would not go so far as to burn down their only chance of winning a battle with us.”

And above all, the noctua were peaceful. The reason they had lost so badly in the war had been because they had not even had an army, only a small array of guards to protect their chief.

“Perhaps another country entirely,” Irihata, the oldest and usually most agreeable of the bunch brought up. “We’re always fixated on Shiratorizawa, but they’re not the only one who are capable of waging war.”

“If that is the case,” Tooru muttered, mostly thinking out loud, “we do not know anything about them. We’ve been fixated on the inner workings of this country for so long, we are at a clear disadvantage.” They already had enough to do with securing the fragile piece within the broken land, and someone else coming in and using that as an opportunity to seize them was the most plausible theory he had heard today. At the same time, it was among the scariest – they did not have the manpower or the information to fend off potential invaders.

There was murmuring in the council, some people nodded, and eventually Itsukata spoke up again. “Either way, it would benefit us greatly if we had an ally. Aoba is strong, but we need to be prepared for the worst.”

“What kind of ally?” Kousaka scoffed and shook his head. “Nobody is going to help a country broken in two.”

“Then we need to glue it back together,” she said, and Tooru wondered what she was doing in the council with eyes as stern as hers. She was much more suited to train new recruits.

“And how are we going to do that?”

“No need for a permanent solution.” Itsukata looked at him like she was ready to punch him, but Tooru gave his best, most convincing smirk. “All we need is a temporary alliance with Shiratorizawa.”

 

* * *

 

“How the hell did you get _that_ through?”

Tooru had been working on the dress he had wanted to sew his friend and run out of fabric, so he had called Shigeru in, and now he did not really want him to leave. Instead, the other was sitting on one of the chairs in Tooru’s working room now, obviously interested in what he had to say.

News of the planned alliance with the East Country had spread like wildfire, and he assumed everyone was talking about it, though he did not particularly mind. It was not like he _liked_ relying on their sworn enemy, but whether the threat was coming from the outside or the inside, what he was absolutely sure of was that Shiratorizawa had nothing to do with it – which put them in a vulnerable position themselves. He was not looking forward to meeting the queen and her stuck-up son and making a fool out of himself, but it was a better option than dying at the hands of an enemy they could have fended off had it not been for their pride.

Shigeru’s question, however, still held weight. In fact, Tooru had no idea how he had convinced the council of this. Usually they were blockading him whenever possible, so them going along with this plan in particular had been a surprise. He would not tell that to Shigeru though, he had an image to preserve, so what he said was simply, “I’m just that convincing. I am their king after all.”

“I’ll tell you that next time you complain to me about how terrible they’re treating you.”

“Shut up and toss me the golden fabric.” Why were all of his friends so mean to him? He did not deserve this.

Shigeru did just that, fortunately he was good for one thing at least, and continued asking questions without even acknowledging that first part with a response. So much for treating your king properly. Once Tooru had complete power, he would throw him in the dungeons. For five minutes at least. “When are you leaving?”

“As soon as possible. We’ve sent a letter and we’re expecting a response by Sunday, so we’ll probably go next week.” He checked his drawing to see if he was still doing everything according to plan, but it looked that way. Had he had a sewing pattern, it might have been easier, but Tooru did not do sewing patterns. That would have required caring. Although he did want this to look good, since it was for a friend after all, he still was not that fond of sewing. “Have you ever been to the East Country?”

“I’ve only heard the stories. And …” Shigeru sighed, a mix of annoyance and fond memories. “A while ago there was that guy from Shiratorizawa who came into my shop. Remember, the one sent by the queen to talk about the peace treaty. The half-fae …”

“Shirabu Kenjirou?” He remembered the name and the person to it vividly, if only because he had absolutely abhorred him.

“Yeah, him. I showed him the way to the castle. He was a jerk, but didn’t seem like a bad person.”

“Aren’t those two mutually exclusive?” It was funny hearing Shigeru talk about him though, as if that encounter had scarred him for life. He wondered if Shirabu was equally as affected by it. Maybe he was sitting at home right now talking to Ushijima and complaining about that son of a fabric salesman he had met in Aoba.

“Let’s say we had a good conversation and I only wanted to kill him twice.”

Tooru laughed – genuinely, for the first time since seeing Keiji leave. The thought of that immediately made his heart ache again and his voice faded into a weak, hollow attempt to preserve the mood, but it was hopeless.

Distracting yourself was an easy feat when you had so many things to do, but it made moments of peace and quiet like this all the more painful.

Shigeru seemed to pick up on it. He cleared his throat before going on with his questions. “Who are you taking? I’m assuming your squad, maybe Kunimi, and … If you’re going to Shiratorizawa, that won’t be enough.”

“What, you want to come along?” Tooru asked, grateful for the distraction. When he thought about it, it was not a half bad idea, actually. Shigeru already knew at least one of Queen Aiko’s secretaries better than Tooru did, and while he would not have considered him a particularly civil person, he knew how to behave in official settings, like when he had taken him along to meet the leader of the noctua back before the war. He could serve as some sort of mediator, or just his pretty little sidekick for when Hajime was busy.

“Can I? I mean, I don’t want to get wrapped up in anything, but if I could help, I’d gladly come.” His friend, despite being so flippant about Shirabu, seemed to be honestly interested. “I could sell some stuff too, some of the fabric we use here is pretty rare there so they may be interested.”

“Then it’s decided! Just … Wear something that isn’t quite this … Uh …” He gave him a once-over and yes, he definitely looked like a commoner. Simple worn-out shirt, simple brown pants, simple dirty shoes. Although he did have pretty good hair, that he had to admit.

Shigeru scowled at him. “What do you take me for, an idiot? You wouldn’t show up in your work clothes at a fancy meeting either.”

“I know, I know, I’m just saying.”

In a way, it was nice to be talking to him like this. Shigeru knew of the noctua and he knew that Tooru and Keiji had been close, but not the extent of it. To him, his grief was only for the forest and the few that had been injured, and while it was difficult to not just yell it all out to him, it made it easier to be around him than, say, Hajime. Shigeru was not loaded with memories of that day, he had not even been at the ball. Shigeru was not constantly trying to make sure he was okay, because while he cared, he simply did not know, and even though he knew he respected him, he did not bother trying to sound all formal. He had once, back when they had first met, but that had been years ago, under Shiida’s rule still. Right now, they were just friends, not a king and a commoner.

It was refreshing.

Taking him along to Shiratorizawa might really be a good idea. If nothing else, it would mean another friend to keep him company for when he would inevitably tear his hair out over difficult negotiations, because he knew for a fact Queen Aiko was not going to make it easy for him. Just because his own council had agreed did not mean she even wanted this. But he would convince her of it, as it really was the only way to ensure some semblance of peace.

He had talked to her before after all, even established a peace treaty. It did not make them friends, but at the moment they were not enemies, either.

“I wonder what it’s like,” Shigeru mused, and when Tooru looked up at him in confusion, he added, “Shiratorizawa, I mean. They don’t seem to know much about us, and some of their info might even be blatantly wrong, so I wonder if it’s the same for us. I’ve never seen the city, but if we’re on the same level of knowledge as Shirabu was of Aoba, even what I do know may be wrong.”

“How do you mean?” Shirabu had appeared knowledgeable enough. They had not talked much about the country, but at least he had had a grasp on the political side.

Shigeru sighed and gave him a humourless smile. “‘Bluecastle’. And not in a derogatory way.”

“He didn’t know?” Hearing the name alone sent shivers down his spine, but he willed himself to stay strong and not mess up this dress by his hands shaking.

“No. Apparently, over there it’s still the common name, even among people who have come from here. It’s ridiculous how that could just fly over his head, but it happened.”

 _Bluecastle_. Nobody called Aoba that anymore. It had been the nickname of the city at the time of his parents’ rule, but had been discarded once they had died, never to be spoken of again – a name soiled with broken promises. He did not often dare think of them badly, as they had still been his family and he had loved them, but his mother had outshone even Queen Aiko as a cold-hearted queen with only her own interests in mind while his father had been a good person, but weak-willed, shoved around by his wife’s every word.

It was as Bluecastle that the conflict with the East Country had been at its height, too. People had been shunned and forced to leave the kingdom simply for being associated with Shiratorizawa, and Tooru could not deny the parallels to the noctua raid.

Hearing the name only reminded him of what he had to live up to. He could not let this turn into another Bluecastle – or something even worse.

Shiida had been the kind, but firm queen the kingdom had needed to heal, but Tooru was not Shiida, and he was not even truly a king yet.

“Who knows, maybe you’ll turn out to love it and never want to leave,” he joked, but it was a weak attempt that his friend shut down with a disbelieving look.

“No way. Aoba is my home. No matter what comes.”

“Your trust honours me, Shigeru.” He said it in a nonchalant manner, but meant every word.

He shrugged as if it went without saying. “I trusted Queen Shiida, I trust you. I know you have to fight hard, but the fact that you’re fighting in the first place makes it obvious. It’s true you’re not the same as her, but she’s still your sister, and I know she’s your role model. I can’t speak for the others, but I think you’re doing pretty great considering what you’re up against.”

Tooru desperately wanted to hug him, but was afraid it would cause him to start crying and start blurting out things he should not, so instead he sat there awkwardly staring at the work table. “Thank you. It means a lot.”

Once he had full authority, he would give him a nice position at court, and if it was only a cosmetic one. The country did not have a prince, so why not adopt him, despite their tiny age difference? A commoner prince … Unheard of, but there was a first time for everything. Prince Shigeru. It sounded about right.

Had everything gone well, Keiji would have been the prince by means of marrying him, but it had not, and he would rather the position go to someone he trusted than a political marriage’s spouse.

He had liked to call him that, back when they had first started going out. His owl prince. When Keiji had still had his wings and the noctua had still been a respected people and the world had seemed right.

And now that name was nothing but an echo in the winds. Fading, just like Bluecastle.

Tooru seriously contemplated ramming the scissors into his hand to distract him from the unbearable sting in his chest.

Somehow, he resisted.

He talked to Shigeru for a long while after that, about nothing in particular, and it was light and airy enough to make him forget until he left when the sun set and he was alone again and quickly remembered why it had been such a blessing to have him around.

He had to stop thinking about Keiji. There were responsibilities he had to fulfil and people placing their trust in him. The only way he had time to mourn was by doing the usual and putting all he had into clearing up his death.

But for the first time in his life, he felt like that might not be enough.

 

* * *

 

They departed six days later.

He had gotten Shigeru a set of armour, not quite that of the royal guard but forged in a similar manner by their court blacksmith Sawamura specifically for him. Getting his friend involved had been surprisingly easy; the council did not mind as long as he carried his own weight. Tooru allowed him to ride with his squad and he quickly fell into conversation with Kindaichi of all people – a student of Hajime’s his best friend had taken a liking to.

Aside from the usual group of Hajime, Issei, Takahiro, and lately Kunimi, alongside Kindaichi and Shigeru, there was another knight in training he had to keep an eye on. A former criminal, Kyoutani Kentarou was known as the Mad Dog by friends and foes alike. Hajime seemed to have him on a tight leash, but he was still unpredictable, and the only reason he got him on the guard in the first place was that Hajime beat him one-on-one in a fight deciding whether he was going to be let free after being caught by an upstanding citizen. There had been no proof of his misdeeds though, even though they had all known of them, so Tooru had offered a duel. Had Kyoutani won, he would have now been somewhere else, causing disarray and trying to get by with what he stole. He was well aware he had only been doing it to support himself and his father. But Hajime had won on Tooru’s behalf and made him join the knights of Aoba, as his potential was outstanding. He was a double-edged sword for certain, but that was the very reason he trusted in his abilities.

That did not mean he was a perfect person, however. The only person he even remotely listened to was Hajime, and only reluctantly so. He had been brought along to provide support in case of an attack on the way, but he wondered if he would actually protect them at all. Hajime had demanded him to come though, and after everything he had put his friend through lately, he felt he deserved to have his way.

Strangely, though, he could tell he was actively avoiding Shigeru. Whenever their eyes so much as met he immediately looked away, and Shigeru seemed unimpressed if nothing else. Did they have some kind of history he did not know about? What an odd combination.

Well, he would not complain about having another person to keep the Mad Dog under control. He only hoped it would not lead to a strained atmosphere; Shiratorizawa was about a week’s ride away and it would be better for everyone if they tried getting along. At least they were travelling alone, while the others, that being three council members and their respective squads because of course Tooru could not be trusted with doing his job, stayed a bit behind. It gave him the eerie feeling of being followed.

He knew the path they rode along well. It had once led to what could be called the capital city of the noctua, Fukurodani by the valley safe between the mountains, if you just took one turn to the right at a certain crossing. He remembered going there for the first time and meeting a group of forest fae along the way that had attempted to get them lost. Despite that, he had found he liked them, some of them at least, like their healer with a bright smile, Mai. They had only met once after that, when he and Keiji had been taking a walk in the small forest that Fukurodani had been hidden in, and she had teased them for being lovebirds. At the time they had not been together yet, and he vividly remembered growing red as a tomato and waving his hands around in an attempt to explain.

Of course, Fukurodani was no more. What had once been a proud city made of wood and stone had been crushed, and one day the forest would take back the area until nothing remained.

Keiji had loved the city. It had been small, but full of people, his family and friends, and everyone had had a story to tell.

When Tooru had arrived at the warzone at the time, finding him unconscious on the ground, covered in dirt and bleeding so much he would have assumed him to be dead had he not checked his pulse, he had been so angry he would have had burned the whole forest to the ground had Hajime not stopped him.

If Keiji was alive and able to choose where to go, he was certain he would have gone to what had once been Fukurodani.

Beyond the dark layer of grief, he felt a spark of hope light up. As long as they had no body, it was not clear that Keiji was dead. Maybe he had left the necklace to fake it, to get to a safer place without anybody knowing, not even Tooru. Maybe he had escaped the burning woods, maybe they all had.

 _Sure, and maybe Shiida’s still alive too while we’re at it. Focus, idiot_ , he mentally scolded himself and shook his head to get rid of the thoughts. The only thing it did was almost cause the crown to fall off. Stupid thing. Stupid thoughts. Stupid Tooru.

He had no time for this. His people believed in him and he could not let them down.

There was an inn on their way that they reached just by sundown, and for the sake of convenience he decided it was better to rest there than set up camp. They would have to share rooms to fit them all in, but they would have to share tents later as well, so not much difference there.

“I trust you’re all mature enough to work this out on your own?” he asked his squad and most of them nodded – Kyoutani only stared at the floor looking about as mad as he usually looked. Contemplating it, he added, “Shigeru, you take Mad Dog over here.”

“What?” Shigeru said in the most offended tone he had ever heard. “No.”

Kyoutani nodded, which was about the most agreeable thing he had come across with him so far.

He could not help the smug grin spreading on his face when he looked straight at them. “I hope I don’t have to remind you that my orders here are absolute. You’re only here because I let you come along, so you better listen to me.”

“Good point,” Takahiro said and Issei snorted. Shigeru looked like he was contemplating killing him, but decided against it. Although that might not have been all bad – surely Arythmia, the goddess of death, was kind enough to reunite him with Keiji once he had died—

Hold on. No. No such thoughts. Keiji would have wanted him to live. _Don’t even think about it._

Hajime glanced at him, a worrying glimmer in his eyes, and nodded. “Yahaba and Kyoutani, Matsukawa and Hanamaki, Kindaichi and Kunimi, and me and Oikawa. Don’t complain about it.”

“But Takahiro snores,” Issei started but was shut down by a glare from Hajime. He saw Kunimi shrug in his peripheral vision and Kindaichi salute, for some reason, and despite the unhappy looks on Shigeru and Kyoutani’s faces, all seemed to be relatively well. He just hoped they were not going to maim each other once alone.

They stayed silent until they were settled down in their small, but well-kept room and Hajime practically flopped onto the mattress with a groan. “This is so much more comfortable than the tents.”

“Well, yes, that’s the point.” Tooru sat down next to him and pushed down on the mattress. It was a little hard, but much more comfortable than the tents indeed.

“How are you feeling?” Hajime rolled over and looked at him with scrutinising eyes, as if trying to find the answer written on his face. He would not have such luck – he felt good enough right now to keep up a somewhat competent poker face. “We’re going to pass by the path to Fukurodani tomorrow.”

“Don’t remind me.” So much for doing well. He drew his knees to his chest and stared at the wall in an attempt to not freak out upon the thought. Thinking about it on the way was one thing, but he had no idea how he was going to react when they actually passed it. He liked to think he had his emotions in check, but he did not trust himself right now.

“Are you sure it’s a good idea to negotiate with Shiratorizawa when you’re like this?”

“I am perfectly capable of holding a civil conversation, thank you very much,” he shot back, but his next breath came out shivering. “It’s not their fault Keiji died. It’s the fault of the people who attacked, and getting revenge on them is going to be sweet.” The more he thought about it, the more it made sense; if he ever came across the ones responsible for the fire, he would have a right to do whatever he wanted. He could kill them immediately – he could lock them up and let them slowly wither away – he could even torture them if he wanted. And if Shiratorizawa could help track them down, he would gladly deal with the annoyance that was Ushijima Aiko.

“You do realise we’re trying to get them to ally with us for the sake of protection, right? We’re not about to wage war.”

“Why shouldn’t we? If we can figure out who they are, we could stop them once and for— _Ouch_!” Hajime had punched him in the arm and was staring at him with an expression not unlike that of Kyoutani as he was rubbing the place he had hit. It had not been a light punch either, instead it reverberated through his body and was sure to bruise.

“Don’t you dare. What happened to being peaceful? I get you’re heartbroken about Akaashi but that’s no reason to start something like that. You’re better than this.” His tone was absolutely serious and it took Tooru a few seconds to realise just what he had proposed.

For a moment, his grief had turned into anger.

“Thank you,” he said and meant it.

Hajime sighed and fell back onto the mattress. “See, this is why I wanted to room with you. Imagine saying something like that to Kindaichi. You’d scare him shitless.”

“I thought you roomed with me because you like me?” He appreciated the sentiment though. His best friend knew he needed his support, even if said support came in mild acts of violence sometimes. It was how they worked.

“Don’t flatter yourself, I’m only here because I have to be. Someone’s got to be the king’s babysitter …” Tooru threw a pillow in his face and heard him laugh underneath it without bothering to move it. “You know, repressing it isn’t good either. I know you want to deal with it like usual but I don’t think it’s working.” He sat up, suddenly serious, and looked him right in the eye. It was more than that though – a gaze that went right through everything he had built up over the years and saw him for how vulnerable he truly was.

He supposed he could not fool the one who was like a brother to him. They had grown up together, so they knew each other inside and out.

But talking about Keiji, so soon already … He was not sure if he could do it.

“I …” Where to even start? Putting into words what he meant to him seemed nigh impossible. It was like trying to explain why he admired Shiida, or how much he relied on Hajime. Those people, the ones most important to him, were bound to him in a way that was difficult to grasp for anyone on the outside looking in. Eventually, what came out was a broken, “I miss him so much.”

Instead of saying something, his friend pulled him into a tight embrace, and Tooru broke.

His hands clawed into Hajime’s back trying so desperately to hold on to something because he felt that if he did not, he was going to fall into a bottomless hole with no means of getting out. He was half sobbing, half screaming as tears were streaming down his face endlessly, and he was caught in a strange place between acceptance and the will to fight the gods themselves if he had to if that meant he could get him back, could see him once again, could at least properly say goodbye before parting with him for good, because this could not be the end, right? This was not how stories ended. This was no happily ever after.

Keiji had lost everything. His family. His friends. His home. His entire kind. His wings. His freedom. And now, his life, and all had been cruelly taken from him by people just like Tooru. It had been a miracle he had even be able to look at him still, let alone love him, but he had, he had loved him and he had taken that love to the grave.

“It’s like part of me has been torn out,” he whispered when he had calmed down enough to speak. Hajime was stroking his hair reassuringly, but he almost did not notice. “I was working so hard to give him a chance to have something to live for again, but he died before he could ever see that world. I’m scared, Hajime. Suddenly I’m alone and it’s terrifying.”

“You’re not. I know it’s hard, but you’re not alone.”

Iwaizumi Hajime was a blessing on his life. He had no romantic feelings for him, but he would not have minded marrying him. His support was priceless, and without him, Tooru would have crumbled many times before. He trusted him to the utmost.

If Hajime had not been here at this very moment … He did not know what he would have done.

But he was there, and perhaps he had a point. Even though it hurt, even though it felt like he was all on his own now, that was not true. If there was any way he could get through this, it was with the help of the people he was closest to.

For now, more important things – and the mere thought of something being more important than Keiji’s death made him feel sick – were demanding his attention.

 

* * *

 

The rest of their ride was almost obnoxiously uneventful.

He distracted himself striking up a conversation with a visibly confused Kindaichi when they passed the crossing near Fukurodani, yet it still seemed oh so tempting to break formation and at least check. In the end his grief was useful for one thing at least: Keiji would not be there anyway, so why bother? He would have only made it harder on himself.

The closer they got to Shiratorizawa, the more his pain faded into the background. It was still there, pulsing, a monster with shard claws and a lust for blood gnawing at his insides, but something else was forcing its way in front of it. Tooru had been confident about their future alliance earlier, and yet he could not help feeling like he was walking on eggshells. He did not trust Queen Aiko, not by a long shot, and her annoying son, that Prince Ushijima Wakatoshi, while not the brightest, looked down on Aoba with a resolve that made his blood boil. The last time they had met, he had even tried to recruit him for his own ranks. How little shame did you need to ask another kingdom’s ruler to throw it all away and join up with their greatest adversaries instead?

Difficult negotiations were upon them.

The border to the East Kingdom was set by a river separating the two sides of the country and high walls on both sides. Crossing it was always a hassle, and this time too they spent a good two hours there until the guards of the East Kingdom received word that yes, this was planned, and yes, they should let them through.

Many decades ago, in a time he only knew from the history books, this country had been one kingdom, united and thriving. Then a civil war had broken out and basically split it in two. Many details were shrouded in mystery still, but he doubted the status quo would change anytime soon. While officially they were still regarded as one country, they had even shed the name long since – he thought it might have been Yukitaka once, but nobody could be sure. Nearly all of the official documents from way back when had been destroyed, the only thing that remained were the stories as passed down many generations. He was sure there had been a few liberties taken over the years.

Though they were now different as could be, this part of the East looked not much different from the West. A light forest was framing their path, leading down into the Kingdom always in the direction of the capital Shiratorizawa. Occasionally, signs on the side betrayed their location, but if it had not been for them, he would have been able to fool himself into thinking he was still home.

Of course, that was a good thing; few things could endanger them more than being careless. This was still enemy territory as far as he was concerned, whether they had a permit or no, and they had to be on high alert at all times.

The East Kingdom was bigger than the West, though not by much. He would have preferred spending more time in the West rather than here anyway, but here they were, and after four more long days, they arrived at the capital.

There was nothing when they passed through the gates to the city. No fanfares, no guide leading them to were they were supposed to go, not even a ‘welcome’ from one of the guards. He would have compared them to normal visitors, but those usually got at least a ‘hello’. Nobody was hiding that they did not want them to be here.

_Cold as ever, Your Majesty, huh? I don’t know what I expected._

He could find a little joy in Kindaichi’s amazed stares at the architecture around them, high pillars and intricate ornaments on ivory-coloured buildings as if it mattered. While most others either did not care or were squinting at their surroundings like an assassin was about to jump out of every corner, he took in the views with wide eyes and a gaping mouth. Tooru had felt that way too when he had first come here – he had to begrudgingly admit that Shiratorizawa did make for a prettier city than Aoba ever could. It was cleaner, more pompous, with higher buildings and bigger marketplaces and all sorts of artful statues and springs sprinkled over the capital like the cherry on top of an already impressive cake.

The population was similarly amazing. Aoba was mostly inhabited by humans, just like its royal family had an almost entirely human background save for the extremely watered witch blood of some of their ancestors. It was an ordinary place, all things considered, and though he loved the city, he could not deny that to outsiders, it might look a bit rough around the edges.

Shiratorizawa, however, was brimming with magic. One glance at a crowd of people revealed that most of them were descended from fae in some way, some were fully fae, there were even some elementals wandering around even though this environment must have been less than healthy for them. The capital had a reputation, but its pull was stronger than that word could have ever described.

“Shiratorizawa,” Issei muttered behind him, voice obviously annoyed. “Better than Aoba in any way … Or so they like to say.”

“It’s so fake,” he heard Shigeru complain and his friend rode up to him, exchanging glances with him. “Shirabu fits in here alright. I feel like if I wanted to live here, I’d be thrown out for not fulfilling an aesthetic quota.”

“Only the best of the best in Shiratorizawa,” Takahiro said like a merchant at the market attempting to sell his rotten food to the unsuspecting crowd.

Hajime made a sound he vaguely interpreted as shushing them, but he was not certain. It was clear that out of all of them, his best friend was the most on edge. “Stop talking. Do you want this to be over before it even starts?”

Kyoutani said something to him that Tooru could not hear. Whatever it was earned him a glare so poignant it would have made Shiida shut up, and Shiida had not been afraid of many things.

No thinking of her though. All that would make him do was wish for her to be here and do everything better than him, and that would lead into the rabbit hole of thinking about Keiji, and then he would be completely useless.

That entire thought process had been a mistake. Now, no matter how hard he tried to suppress it, he could not help but imagine what Keiji would have said about this city, and wonder if there were any places he could have gone with him, not that it mattered now. There had been so much he had had left to see. So much to look forward to.

He clenched the reins of his horse so tightly it hurt.

“So where are we going?” Kunimi – bless his soul – asked and Shigeru shrugged.

“No idea.” He looked at Tooru with a raised eyebrow.

“First of all, we’ll head to the memorial stature on the plaza down the street. Then we wait for the rest to meet up with us, and then we’ll set off to the palace. It’s hard to miss.” In fact, he knew that if they walking just a bit closer, the view would open up and reveal the unnecessarily huge palace looming over the city like a constant reminder who was in charge here. At least Aoba had the decency to not have its castle visible from almost every part of the city.

Waiting for the three remaining council members, Itsukata, Kousaka, and Haruyama, took them another one and a half hours of waiting and getting unsubtly stared at but they eventually arrived unharmed. Tooru could not say he would have minded had they not.

After going over their negotiation plan once again and making sure everyone was where they were supposed to be, they finally headed off to the palace.

Not everyone came along; he had with him the council members, Hajime, and Shigeru only, and the latter would leave them once the actual meeting started. The others were sent to the inn they were going to stay at, because apparently Shiratorizawa was too stuck-up to offer all of them proper rooms. The meaning of the word ‘diplomacy’ seemed to be lost on them.

Normally he would have sent Shigeru away as well, but if his semi-friendly connection to Shirabu could help him in any way, he would not throw it away before he tried it. Gods knew he needed all the assistance he could get.

The closer they got to the palace the deeper his stomach sank, and by the time they arrived at the gate he was barely holding himself together. But he had not been taught to crumble in the face of the unknown, so when he finally got off his horse and took his first step into the castle, he stood tall and proud, the usually troublesome weight of the crown on his head a source of comfort this time. Despite everything, he was the king of Aoba and would demand no less than to be treated as such.

The throne room was as unnecessarily big as the rest of Shiratorizawa, and for the first time since his arrival people were bowing upon seeing him enter, though at the end, on the pompous throne framed by the royal banners of the East Kingdom, Queen Ushijima Aiko sat there looking unimpressed as always.

For all intents and purposes, she should not have been scary. Unlike her son, she was not tall, only reaching up to Tooru’s shoulders, and her dark blond hair fell down in long, soft waves. Her round face reminded him of a caring mother, even her name sounded inviting, and her eyes were of a warm chocolate brown.

And yet, she was terrifying.

Everything about her, from her stance to her icy glare, radiated power. While at first glance, she appeared like a kind-hearted, friendly woman, her true personality was anything but. On top of being a calculating mastermind of war, she seemed to enjoy using that power she had to bother the people she did not like, and most of the time that was Aoba. Even if they found a proper solution and became allies, working with her would be a challenge. It made him long for the times he met the noctua chief. That man had been a nice, easy to work with person.

He, too, had died too early. And his last thoughts must have been about how Aoba had betrayed his trust.

Shiratorizawa had not been blameless in that.

He felt Shigeru tense by his side when he sank into a deep bow, then follow him, while Hajime and the three council members did that same. He rather would have spat in her face, but he did not have such luxury.

“It is an honour to see you, Your Majesty,” Tooru said, every word sharply punctuated with something just barely not crossing the line to cynicism. “I take it you know why I am here?”

“Indeed,” she replied without even bothering with a greeting. “I’m most delighted you seek my assistance in this time of need.”

Her voice was soft and controlled, her wording picked carefully, but she slurred her voice just enough to clarify what sort of respect she had for him, namely none. This was the way you spoke to a commoner, not a fellow royal. Tooru did not even dare do it with his council except when he slipped up. It was annoyingly fake and troublesome, but it was what he had been taught, and Queen Aiko knew that as well as anyone.

The temptation to reply in a similar manner was unbearable, but if he started a battle of wits right now, it would ruin their entire plan. They needed Shiratorizawa. If they had not, he would not have been here. “Well, this is an issue that affects us all, so I am hoping for good cooperation.”

He could only hope she would be cooperative in at least some sense. He could not fail this. For Keiji, and for the sake of everyone in their kingdoms, this had to go through.

There was no room to fail.

“You must be very desperate if you come to me for help,” Queen Aiko scoffed with a humourless smile. Under her stare, he felt like he was either going to freeze or burst into flames in due time. “How about we start the meeting right now, then? Let’s get this over with.”

She knew that she was important to his plan, and that because of it she could use him however she saw fit. Tooru hated making himself so vulnerable, especially in front of her – he gritted his teeth and forced a smile, all the while itching to call this off and leave. There was no such choice. “Perfect. The sooner we agree on something the better.”

Queen Aiko rose from her throne with detestable grace and nodded at one of the soldiers around them, who hurried off, presumably to ready the meeting room or to go get someone. Then she turned to him again, and there was no trace of decency left in her voice when she said, “Just know that our defences are more than enough to protect us. You’re the ones who need us, but we don’t need you. I’d be careful if I were you, little king. Don’t get cocky.”

Oh, how much he longed to punch her in the face.

“So I am aware.” _Gods, Keiji, Shiida, give me the strength to do this without accidentally or deliberately starting a war._

How would Keiji have handled such a situation? He had always been the more logical of the two, no matter how much rationale Tooru thought of himself to possess as well. However, he had not been involved in politics, so perhaps he would have been even more clueless than him.

Not that it mattered.

_Breathe._

He could grieve after this was over. For now, what mattered was to forge this alliance and protect their kingdoms. Despite what Queen Aiko had said, he did not truly believe the East was all that well-prepared. They had hardly ever needed to deal with outside forces, and when that happened for the first time, they alone would not be enough. They thought of themselves as undefeatable, and that was why they would fall in the face of worthy opponents. It was a strange sort of megalomania.

“Shigeru, could you go and find that friend of yours?” He did not dare say Shirabu’s name, as he was still Queen Aiko’s secretary even if he had not seen him around much. He could become an important piece in this, as long as the queen’s grasp on him was not absolute. Although he had seemed like quite the royal pet, Tooru thought he posed one of their best chances to have at least something in hand against Shiratorizawa.

“Yes, sir.” Shigeru, good boy that he was, sounded almost like a genuine soldier. If the poor salesman life was not enough for him anymore one day, he could perhaps train him.

“Itsukata, join up with Shiratorizawa’s castle guard. Haruyama, Kousaka, Hajime, you come with me. I need your assistance.” Truly he only needed Hajime’s assistance, but even relegating Itsukata to something that did not involve sitting at a table discussing with Shiratorizawa would likely not score him any points with the council. Frankly, he would have rather ditched them all and done this by himself, with Hajime behind him to kick him if he said something stupid.

This was going to be a long meeting.

**Author's Note:**

> this almost feels like a cliffhanger. is it a cliffhanger? I'm not sure.


End file.
